A Modern Day Moulin Rouge
by Catherine Antrim
Summary: Satine has never felt so broken. Christian has never felt so lost. Chapter 7 is up!
1. New York, New York

Disclaimer- I don't own Moulin Rouge, Sylvia Plath or Starbucks.

Christian James had never exactly been popular although he'd always had some friends, he was rather shy and slightly what the jocks had liked to call a nerd. He preferred writing and reading to football or television and he had never had a girlfriend. He wasn't bad looking and he showered regularly but he'd always been far too shy to ask a girl out. Today, he vowed, all of that was going to change. He had no idea the how hugely he was right.

On the first day of college Christian spent far more time than usual picking out his clothes and spent an extra minute or two in front of the mirror messing with his hair. He would later be thankful for it. It was a short ride on the subway from his East Village apartment to NYU but even so he had to try hard to keep his face blank and impassive as the train car shook as though it was broken. Looking around he saw the other passenger seems unfazed. Not entirely comforted he was now regretting leaving his car in California.

His heart was beating in his chest but he managed to get off the train alright and made it through the overheated subway station. The air here was barely breathable. Outside he took deep gasps of the slightly cooler city air. Crowds of people pushed past him, clutching Starbucks cups and brief cases and looking agitated. He already had noticed that everyone here moved their legs are far apart as possible when they walked.

He realized he had no idea where he was but also knew better than to take a map out. Feeling dizzy he turned into a building with gold trimmed revolving doors. There was a man at the desk but Christian ignored him and stood in the lobby behind a large potted plant to look at his map. He discovered he was only a few blocks away from his building. These were New York blocks, but all the same he wasn't nearly as lost as he had feared.

Five minutes later found him pushing through the crowd, being thrown looks when he instinctively apologized. He noticed at crosswalks New Yorkers stood as far out in the road as possible while they waited for the light to turn so they could get where they were going a half second faster. At last he arrived at the building without anything more exciting than an occasional wrong turn. Standing outside he smiled.

Although the building looked just as imposing and imperial as the others on the street, its concrete stairs were lined with unusual looking people. Girls in bright colors and converse, boys with long hair falling into their eyes, a group of people with dreadlocks, their genders indefinable. Christian could hear someone playing guitar inside as he looked up at the columns. Then, remembering what his sister had said about not looking up in New York, he hurried inside without another glance.

The halls were quite modern and clean, the walls hung with impressive paintings and murals. Christian's father had said that it was a slum for people who failed high school, that Christian was wasting his talent to go there but Christian knew the old man was wrong.

Christian's father was head of a rich and successful corporation and all in all this had caused Christian to live a pretty sheltered life. He had his own car, a big house, any material thing he had ever wanted. But at the same time, his mother was dead and his father didn't understand him. He wanted Christian to be a business man like himself, not a starving writer.

He had refused to pay for Christian's college tuition to his first choice college, RISDI; though luckily NYU had offered him a large scholarship and the rest could be paid in student loans, leaving Christian enough money to survive if he ate only Ramen. His father had paid for his plane ticket and lent him money for his rent, small price to rid himself of his failure of a son. Christian winced as the jarring voice of his father filled his head. He pushed it aside, nothing was going to ruin this day.

His first class was Art History. Christian had always been interested in art. His older sister was an artist and museums had a homey feel to Christian and he had longed to know more. In high school however his father had insisted he take extra Algebra and Physics. He found he know almost nothing about art, but he followed the professor and vowed to read his text book cover to cover when he got a chance,

After class he ventured down the street in search of a diner or a cheap café to eat his lunch. Less than a block away he came upon a Starbucks but seeing the line decided against it. A little further down was a deli with a dirty window. Feeling uncertain, Christian headed inside. The tables wear nearly all empty. Christian registered this as odd, since he had yet to find so much as a public bathroom that wasn't crammed with people.

He wondered briefly if he should continue down the street but his growling stomach objected. He ordered and headed to a corner table to take out his laptop. As he ate he looked around for inspiration. There were only three other people here, an old man with food stuck to his beard who reading the paper and two middle aged women, gossiping and laden with shopping bags. He immediately recognized them as tourists; they were wearing fanny packs and cameras.

_It was a typical day in New York City and I was still waiting for something to happen._

Christian wrinkled his nose and pressed the delete button. He jumped as the door was flung open and the sound of the street filled the quiet room. Looking up his heart seemed to beat through the fabric of his shirt. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen had just walked in, pulling a small girl behind her. Christian starred at her, taking in her milk white skin, fine bones and vivid hair. He'd never seen hair like that before, liquid fire cascading out of it's bun down her back in a mass of curls. She was whispering something to the man behind the counter, who shook his head and looked agitated. He heard her speaking softly to the little girl. Her voice was deeper than he expected and musical.

"I'm sorry; we're going to have to go somewhere else."

The little girl's eyes filled with tears.

"But Teeny, I'm hungry," she held her stomach. "I want food. I want a bagel."

"I know, Lucy, so am I. C'mon we'll go somewhere else to get one. Someday when we're rich we'll buy the whole bloody bagel shop."

Lucy smiled slightly and Teeny wiped her tears. Christian watched them go, Teeny's hair flowing behind her, his heart unusually heavy. When he tried to take a bite out his sandwich, he found he was no longer hungry. He hastily stowed his laptop in his backpack and ran into the street.

Inside he had momentarily forgotten to appalling amounts of people that flooded the streets during the day. He thought he saw a glimpse of red in the distance and took off after is. It turned out to be a traffic light. Again he saw something and sped around the corner, but it was someone's shopping bag. It was ten minutes before he realized he didn't know the streets and had no idea where he was. Feeling dizzy he wandered down a relatively deserted residential street. He ignored the no loitering signs and took a seat on the steps of a brick building covered in ivy. Then he saw her again, red hair bobbing above the crowd. Lucy was crying and Teeny was trying to comfort her. She was waiting at the cross walk only a hundred feet away. Getting up awkwardly he headed towards her, reaching out to touch her arm. She jumped and backed away, looking at him with big blue eyes, like a deer in the headlights.

"Err..." He felt dizzy under her intense cerulean stare. He held out his wrapped sandwich. "This is for you." Teeny blinked; surprised a confused but it took her only a second to get a grip.

"We don't need your charity! Go help someone else, go..." but Lucy had already taken the bag and was gobbling the sandwich. Teeny looked alarmed and speechless.

"Don't accept food from strangers," she said, her voice rising. Suddenly her pale cheeks were filled with color. Christian had a feeling his were the same. Lucy tugged on his pant leg.

"Tan tu" she said with her mouth full. Christian laughed and Teeny looked torn.

"So..." Christian fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt. "I wish we weren't strangers." Several people were looking at them with annoyance as they blocked the crosswalk. They headed down the residential street together. Teeny turned an awful shade of fuchsia and Christian thought he was in love.

"I have to go to work…" she said finally.

"Some other time maybe?"

"Maybe"

"But how will I find you?" he frantically called after her retreating back. If he could have seen her face, he'd have seen she was smiling.


	2. Unwanted

Disclaimer- I still don't own Moulin Rouge. I do own these really nifty black boots though. They click when I walk and are almost as good. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

It was late in the afternoon and orange sunlight was drifting deliciously in through the book store window. Lucy was the way Satine liked her best, asleep, curled up on the couch in the corner with her thumb in her mouth. Quiet, for once. The soft hum air conditioner and the distant sound of the street were all she could hear. For New York, this was silence.

Satine sighed, knowing it wouldn't last. She had to close and take Lucy home. If she had her way she'd stay here all night, among the silent rows of books with their comforting inky smell. Satine lay down her book and walked across the room, leaning down to whisper in her sister's ear.

"Luce, sweetie, you've gotta get up." Lucy opened her big chocolate eyes and blinked dazedly. She then began to whine. Her eyes filled with tears for the third time that day. Lucy always seemed to be crying lately. She didn't play with the other kids, she didn't pay attention in class, and Satine was at her wits end.

Satine felt she was drowning beneath If Only's. If only she knew how to be a parent, if only she had enough time to help Lucy, enough money to buy food, if only their mother would stop drinking and come home. Counting in her head Satine realized her Mother hadn't been home in over a week. It was nothing new, but it still filled her with concern. Gathering Lucy in her arms, she bid goodnight to Henry, who was restacking books and left.

It was getting dark but the streets were just as busy as they were during the day. Lucy looked miserable and tired and finally Satine picked her up. In no time the small girl was fast asleep, her curly head bobbing unconsciously against Satine's breast. She was surprisingly heavy for someone so frail looking.

Lucy lay beside her on seat of the train, her head on Satine's lap. The car was packed with people, making the air hot. They looked at the number of seats Lucy was taking up with disapproving glares. Satine ignored them. Back at their apartment Satine found dirty dishes and unmade beds. Sighing she ignored them and put Lucy to bed before washing and going to bed herself. She had thought she was too tired to do the dishes yet in bed she couldn't sleep.

Tossing and turning she thought about the boy in the alley. Until now he'd been forgotten. Suddenly she wished could see him again. She knew she had more important things to be thinking about but something able his innocent brown eyes and his lost smile had stuck in her mind.

Finally she decided she wasn't going to be able to sleep so she rapped herself in quilt and left her closet-bedroom. In the main room she turned on the TV and flicked uninterested through the channels until finally she fell asleep in the couch.

In the predawn hours the mistress of the house made her arrival. She banged through the door and promptly tripped over an umbrella stand to fall flat on her face. Satine was awoken by the noise and knew that it was either burglars or her mother and wasn't sure which she preferred.

Rubbing her eyes she lumbered over to where her mother lay. She bent over and gently helped her up. Suddenly her mother lurched and vomited all over Satine and the floor. She laughed weakly. Frustrated Satine helped her mother into bed. Her mother inhabited the only real bed room in the house. Satine slept on a mattress in the walk in closet and Lucy's room was more of an alcove than anything else. Satine tucked her mother in and looked at the bottles that lined her floor.

"You're my sweet girl Izzy"

"Satine."

"What?"

"My name in Satine, Isabelle is my sister, she doesn't live here anymore." Her mother was already asleep. Furious and wishing for once her mother would be responsible, she cleaned up the vomit.

Satine wandered into main room where she tried to do the dishes but ended up in a ball on the floor. If she had been the kind of girl who cried she would have done it then. Her mother had mixed her up with Izzy, Satine's favorite person on earth. But Izzy had abandoned them too and she hadn't even written.

When Izzy lived at home they had run the household together and Satine had gone to school. After she left Satine had to drop out so she could help at home and work. Satine stayed strong for Lucy's sake. She didn't have anyone else to turn too anymore.

If she cried it was alone, if she laughed she did it by herself. But of course, she never cried. Feeling nothing could make her smile again; she went to bed and fell in a dreamless sleep.


	3. The Moulin Au Cafe

Chapter 3

Disclaimer- this chapter is almost completely different than the old version. In a good way. I hope. I don't own any of the things I didn't own in the other disclaimers, I also don't own NYU, they probably own me though. (No joke, the own like half of NYC.)

Christian couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw red hair imprinted on the backs of his eyelids.. By dawn he had given up and got dressed. The sun was just rising and through his window he saw the illuminated silhouettes buildings and pink steam rising of the river. Somewhere commuters where beginning to creep like black bugs through the streets, stores were opening their fronts and Satine was opening her eyes and for a moment forgetting who she was.

It was this time of day when Christian felt the most inspired. On mornings like this one hope still existed so thick you could almost taste it. Christian opened his note book, but although he was bursting with new feelings he couldn't think of words, only the pounding of his heart and the soaring in his ears. He hadn't been able to write since he came to the city. For Christian, this was new, since for him writing was like breathing. Not that breathing came easily in the smoggy city either.

Deciding to leave before the sun got too hot; Christian collected his bag from behind the couch, which was the only piece of furniture in the room except his mattress. Outside the streets were less bustling than they had been the previous morning. He was able to buy a coffee from the nearest Starbucks without having to wait twenty minutes. He was still drinking it when he arrived at class, getting lost only once on the way there.

Most of the students hadn't arrived yet, so he was free to sit where ever he liked. He chose a seat in the back where he still had an excellent view of the board. While he waited for class to begin, he buried himself in the pages of a paperback. He was so absorbed he didn't hear anyone enter the room.

"Hey," said a voice from beside him. Christian didn't look up immediately, not registering that someone was talking to him. When he did, he saw a short, pleasant looking boy with dark, unruly curls standing over him.

"Hello," said Christian slowly.

"I was in Art History with you, maybe you don't remember me, I'm Henry Thompson," Henry said. He had a slight lisp but it was the sort that gave him personality rather than making him sound comical.

"Christian James, I think I saw you there,"

"Good book," said Henry, nodding towards Christian's book The Catcher in the Rye. "One of my favorites." The topic of Holden Caulfield carried them until the rest of the class filed in. Some of Henry's friends had come to sit with them. Henry introduced them to him one by one and Christian worked to remember their names.

"This is Nini and Tino," he said.

Nini was the short, pretty girl with the crochet scarf. She had straight dark hair and was wearing very battered looking jeans with a faded dye t-shirt. Tino, a tall, unshaven guy wearing had one arm draped lazily around her waist.

Satie was the next to meet Christian. He smiled coolly when he saw him and sat in his chair like it was a throne. He was cool, Christian though, with his tattoos, shaven head and leather jacket (despite the 90 degree weather). He looked like he's walked out of the 1980s.

Lastly he was introduced to Audrey, who looking at him suspiciously at took a seat at the end of the row. She alone looked like someone he'd have met in public school. She opened her mouth, perhaps to say something rude, but was cut off as the lesson began.

Christian was enthralled by the lecture; writing for the theater had always been something that held his interest. He was finding it hard to concentrate with Henry's friends there. Henry himself kept his head down as he took notes, but Nini and Tino were silently doing something Christian couldn't see that was shaking the seat, Satie was humming and tapping his desk and Audrey snorted and looked at the Professor with disbelief every few sentences as though he was preaching something offensive rather than outlining the course.

When the class ended Christian's head was buzzing with ideas for his thesis. He was tempted to run home to begin it now, skipping lunch entirely, but Henry stopped him on the way out.

"Christian come to lunch with us!" he said.

"Well- alright then," he agreed hesitantly, following the group outside.

"Where are we eating?" asked Nini.

"Not the diner again." Audrey said, wrinkling her nose. "I think I gained weight just breathing the air there."

"Is it the Moulin then?" said Tino.

"Alright, I guess," said Nini.

"The Moulin?" Christian asked.

"The Moulin Au Café," Nini said tiredly.

"Best café around," Tino added. "They've got great live music."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you had to work there every night," said Nini with a sigh.

"The Moulin Au Café," said Christian, trying the word out on his tongue.

"It means the coffee grinder," said Nini. "Come on I'm starving."

They then headed for down the street trying to stay together as a group, Christian in the back, hoping he wouldn't get lost. The café was larger than most places he'd seen in the city and gave off funky vibes with its brightly colored walls and mismatched chairs. The air was heavy with the smell of freshly ground coffee and something like smoke.

"I'll get us some drinks," said Nini with an exasperated grin and an eye roll. "Okay?"

"If you don't mind-" said Henry quickly.

"Why would I mind extra unpaid work?" she said sarcastically. "I love it."

She grabbed an apron and disappeared behind the counter. Henry led the way to the back of the room. Christian took a squishy arm chair and the others plopped down beside him. Nini returned shortly with a tray of coffees and sandwiches. As the hour passed Christian began to warm up to them.

He certainly liked them, they were more open-minded and intelligent than anyone back home. When the topic drifted to thesis's Henry suggested they work together. Since they had different majors, they'd have to do something to combine them. Nini suggested making a film but to Christian's surprise it was Audrey who had the best idea, a musical. Satie and Tino looked skeptical but the idea of live music changed that. Christian was so immersed it the conversation he got a jolt when he realized he was going to be late for his next class. Shouting a hasty good bye, he grabbed his coffee and his bag and walked briskly out of the Moulin Au Café not looking where he was going. He swung the door open and promptly knocked a woman over.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry miss are you alright." He bent to help her up and familiar blue eyes met his grey ones. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh my, it's you!" She said smiling, to Christian's relief. "I work here." Then she frowned. "Fuck," she was covered in cold coffee.

"Oh shoot! I'm so sorry- come on I'll get you a clean shirt."

"What?"

"I spilt coffee on you and I'm offering to get you a clean shirt"

"I don't want to be any trouble-"

"I spilt coffee all over you!"

"You've got a point!" She laughed showing all her teeth. Then her face wrinkled as she stood up fully. "I think I sprained my ankle." she gingerly tested it and winced. "Yeah I did."

"Can you walk?"

"Yes," she took a few stumbling steps and Christian caught her. "No."

"Here" he gave her his arm and helped her limp to the subway. "I feel like such an ass," he admitted. She grinned.

"I know what you mean." She laughed. "I'm the one covered in coffee and limping through the center of New York City."

"And it's my fault." They both laughed and stumbled onto the train. "Christian James," he said, holding out his hand.

"Satine Grey," she said. " and I thought you lived near here." Christian chose not to answer that, for he himself was wondering now why he'd said that. It wasn't far on the subway but it wasn't near enough that he'd be on time for class either.

"Where's your sister?"

"School, I hope." Christian didn't press it.

"Look err… now might not be the best time… I mean… what other time is there though?" Christian stuttered, "do you want to go somewhere with a complete stranger… I mean… me…sometime?" Satine flushed.

"I…well… alright" she looked at her knees.

"Er… tomorrow?"

"Ok then, where?"

"Nine at the Moulin?"

"Alright." She grinned and leaned her coffee stained body against his, not caring that she was a spectacle.


	4. By Night

Disclaimer- I'm a codfish

Satine dragged her feet as she headed home from work, the hot sun was beating down upon her face and the air was so thick she now knew what it felt like to be one of the flies that got stuck in the honey pot. Lucy too was red faced and sweating, the fabric of her t-shirt sticking to her back.

The apartment was no better than the house, rather than body heat and garbage there was stale air and an overbearing aroma of alcohol. Most sensible New Yorkers would be climbing into their cars or hopping aboard to speed away to a distant beach where they could drink wine on the sand and soak their feet in blue water. Satine however was working twelve hours at the book store and then the night shift at the Moulin.

Satine pushed these thought out of her head, tonight was her night. Her heart fluttered into her chest and she smiled slightly. Her life was certainly too hectic for any real boyfriend, but a night out what just what she needed to take her mind off things.

Lucy did her homework while Satine made her meager dinner, rice and frozen green beans. Lucy ate it hungrily but Satine had very little appetite. When Lucy had finally gone to bed, Satine changed out of her uniform and brushed her hair. Grabbing her bag and keys from the table she headed out.

She wondered if she was making a mistake leaving Lucy alone here with her hung over mother. She had only left her room once since her return but had managed to leave a mess in the sink. Lucy was asleep and she was a big girl, Satine told herself. It was only for a few hours. She went to the alcove that was Lucy's room, her converse clapping gently against the floor tiles. She peered in though the curtain that separated her sister from the rest of the house.

"Luc?" She whispered. There was no response. The little girl continued to sleep peacefully. Satine smiled and closed the curtain. Outside she felt like singing or shouting, not worrying about the stares she'd get, wanting everyone to know she was free! No more work or Lucy or drunken mothers or dirty houses!

She was just Satine, young and carefree among the city lights. Her usual ride to work on the subway seemed new and exciting, her senses were more aware of everything. The smell of others bodies, the hard plastic seat beneath her, the dizzying movement of the train car. Feeling intoxicated by her own joy, she walked with a bounce in her step.

Christian was waiting in front of the Moulin. She held back a laugh at how lost he looked. At least she'd been on a date before.

"Hey."

"Hi," he blushed.

She took his hand, rather awkwardly, and he started to lead her inside. "Wait-"

"What?"

"I work here every night, let's go somewhere else tonight." Christian laughed.

"Sure, why not?" As they walked down the street, Christian kept stealing glances at her out of the corner of his eye. She caught him doing this and they both smiled. Satine didn't remember the last time she had felt so good.

Satine looked up at the outline of the buildings, how scarcely one noticed their beauty. She strained her eyes to see past the street lamps. She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a star.

"I've never been in any of these places," he said. "I like this ones window though." He had stopped in front of the fanciest place on the street.

"Alright then…" she said, following him inside. Together they entered the restaurant's revolving door and were immediately hit head on by a blast of air conditioning. Satine shivered and suddenly regretted wearing only a thin t-shirt.

It was a very fancy place; the tables were covered with white cloths and adorned with a rose and a candle each. The menus were heavy red leather with gold tassels. Satine bit her lip as she read it, her eyebrows knit.

The waiter arrived at the table looking offended by their jeans and sneakers. He took their orders with a wrinkled nose.

"Can you afford any of this?" Satine said suddenly, unable to control her manners a moment longer.

"Er… no not really."

Satine looked worried and began to play with her fork. When the food came she looked at it with concern.

"I'm not very hungry anymore," she admit.

"Me neither," said Christian throwing down his fork.

"Shall we?"

"I think so."

They got up slowly, trying to look casual. By the time they reached the door they had broke into a run. Outside they gasped with laughter and continued down the street, not apologizing when they bumped against people.

"I feel like ice cream," Satine announced. "C'mon." She pulled him around the corner to the ice cream parlor.

They ate their dripping cones on the steps to an apartment. Satine was happy to see he had warmed up to her and they talked about everything from string cheese to books to aliens. When they had finished, they decided to walk along the residential streets where it was more dangerous but also more quiet.

"What now?"

"We could see a movie," Satine suggested, trying to think of what normal people did on dates. "Or go to a club…"

"Look, why don't you come back to my place. We could watch a movie there if you want. My friend brought his TV over." Satine's cheeks flushed.

"Alright."

Christian's house was almost completely bare and even smaller than her own. There was only one real room which played the roll of kitchen, living room and bedroom. It contained very little furniture. A milk crate full of paperbacks, a very old television balanced on another milk crate, a couch that looked as though it had been found by the side of the road. His bed was in the corner, a mattress with one blanket and a pile of clothes for a pillow.

Searching for something to eat Satine found only tea bags, carrots and a six pack of beer. Satine helped herself to be a beer and brought the pack over to where Christian was sitting on the couch.

"Hope you don't mind I helped myself," she said offering him one.

Christian smiled as he took one. "Fine with me, those aren't even mine. Nini and Tino left them her last night; it's their TV as well." Satine choked on her beer.

"You know Nini?"

"Yes…" he said, "and why?" he added when he saw the look on her face.

"No reason, I just work with her," said Satine, her face blank. "It's a small world." Satine was on her second beer by now and though this might be a good time to tell Christian about her mother. When she had finished she looked at him, waiting for his reaction.

"That's horrible!" he exclaimed. "Why don't you do something?"

"Well, she is my mother, you know," Satine said slowly.

"My mother's dead," Christian announced.

"So is my father," Satine said sadly. "I never met him though."

"My step mom is crazy."

"My real mom is crazy."

"My father is crazy."

"I'm crazy."

"I'm in love," he hadn't meant to say it, but he knew now it was true.

Satine took a swig of her fourth beer. "Me too," she said softly. There was silence after this, not uncomfortable silence, just the two of them basking in the pleasure of having found such a kindred spirit. Signing she put down her bottle to lean against him. He was very, very warm. She looked into his eyes, observing their deep grey pools for the first time that night. Satine usually avoided peoples eyes because what she saw their scared her. Christian didn't disappoint. She saw love and more innocence than Lucy. Satine shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"Scared."

He wrapped his arms around her. She ran her hands along his cheek, taking in each beloved line.

"I have to go home now, goodnight," she said as she stood up, her legs wobbling.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just have to go," she turned and tried to walk determinedly away.

"Satine... wait..." Christian followed, confused.

"This isn't right."

"I can't remember something being more right, I think I might even love you."

"Exactly."

"Please don't go, nothing is worse than not knowing you." Satine felt drained and stripped. Not knowing what else to do, she leaned in and kissed Christian softly on the lips. Satine felt her body relax and she surrendered.


	5. An Island

Chapter 5

Disclaimer- I don't own Long Island, because I'm not Donald Trump or NYU. I do own some beer.

xxxxxx

Satine's eyes flew open then closed a second later as the sunlight hit them.

"Fuck."

She tried to move but something was holding her down, every inch of her body was filled with familiar pain that came from a night of drinking. More slowly this time, she opened her eyes to slits and surveyed the room through her lashes. It was small, bare and box-like. She could see her feet sticking up from beneath the blanket and beside them was an unfamiliar pair, darker than her own. Her heart was now beating uncomfortably fast. Where was she?

It took all her energy to roll over and face the man beside her. Suddenly the past nights events came flooding back to her and she winced, her head pounding. Pulling out of Christian's grasp she lay beside him on the bed, trying to decide whether she was going to get up or sleep a little longer, both options seemed unappealing. The watch on Christian's otherwise naked arm read quarter till nine.

"Fuck," she said again. Ignoring her aching head she jumped out of bed only to find herself completely naked. Frantically she tried to find her clothes, which now carpeted the floor. As she was putting her shirt on, she heard Christian moving on the bed.

"Satine?" he said softly. "Make the light go away."

"Right." she said awkwardly. Awkward because she still hadn't managed to get her shirt on properly and was stuck in an uncomfortable position. "I have to go to work, I'll call you."

"You don't know my number," he called after her, but she had already left. Confused, but too tired to think about it, Christian closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

He was awoken what felt like second later, by someone waving something in front of his face and yelling.

"Wudayawap," he mumbled.

"Sorry didn't catch that," said a voice from above. Christian opened his eyes and Audrey's face swam before him. She was, for some reason, wearing only a bikini.

"What the…"

"Don't you remember?" said Nini entering the room. "We're going to Long Island today." Seeing the blank look on his face she added "the beach."

Feeling like one who had spent the night drinking heavy liquor, not two beers, Christian dressed and met his friends down stairs where they had parked Tino's beat up car unprofessionally on the curb. Christian squeezed in the back with Satie, Henry, Audrey and several boogie boards.

As they were driving by, he spotted Satine, sitting on the ground in front of the Moulin smoking a cigarette. On his request, Tino pulled the car up so he could talk to her.

"Hey! Satine, wanna go to the beach?"

"Oh Christian I'm sorry I have to work," she said. She really looked sorry, or at least tired.

"Some other time then?"

Audrey roared with laughter as the drove away. Satine heard her and leaned back against the building wall taking a heavy drag off her cigarette. She didn't usually smoke, but then again, she didn't usually do a lot of things. The two cups of black coffee she had drunk that morning sloshed hollowly on the inside of her stomach. They had done nothing to make her feel full, only a bit more awake. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this empty.

"Satine!" Betty called from the door way. "Breaks over c'mon we need you on section three." Satine put out her cigarette on the cement and watched the smoke rise from the butt as she walked inside. "You ok?" said Betty with concern. "You don't look well."

"Fine," said Satine quickly. "Late night, you know." Betty smiled fondly.

Six hours, seventy four tables, two hundred and sixty two plates later Satine had collected her tips and headed home, her thoughts on Christian somewhere far away sunning himself on the beach.

The apartment was dark and Satine's stomach sank if possible even lower. She hadn't thought about Lucy since she left last night. She threw her purse on the couch and turned on the light. Lucy was illuminated, sitting at the table starring into space.

"You should have turned some lights on," said Satine softly. Lucy looked at her with wet eyes and ran from the room. "Lucy come back!" Satine called as she ran after her. Lucy had thrown herself on the bed and was lying silent like a dead thing. "Lucy?"

"You left," she said, her voice dull. "You left like Mama."

"No, no Lucy, it wasn't like that. I'm back, see, and I'll never leave again."

"Mama says that too."

"Mama means it, she's trying Lucy."

"Will you really never leave me again?"

"Well…" said Satine slowly. "Never on purpose."

"Promise you'll never leave me," Lucy was now sitting up right and looking at her with fire in her brown eyes.

"I can't-"

"Promise!"

Satine hesitated a second. "Alright, I promise."

Lucy's face relaxed and her eyes filled with tears.

"C'mere," said Satine, opening her arms. Lucy fell into them sobbing.

"I was so scared," she said through her tears. Eventually she wore herself out and fell asleep in Satine's arms. Satine curled up beside her sister's body, forgetting her own plight, at least for now.

xxxxxx

Christian leaned against the car door watching the ocean. The sun was setting over the dunes, turning the trees and brambles into black silhouettes and dying the water orange. The car smelt of brine and seaweed. Everyone was sandy and sunburned, but filled with a tired happiness. Satie and Nini were drinking beers and Audrey had fallen asleep with her arm out the window.

Satine was momentarily forgotten.

xxxxxx

Author's note- short chapter… shoot me. Chapter 6 is really long though. And don't you dare leave without reviewing! How else am I supposed to improve?


	6. When it Rains

A/N- I don't own Strand (though I do shop there a lot) which is the bookstore where this chapter takes place.

It started out with a few small drops hitting the hot cement and turning immediately into steam. As the storm gained power, they began to collect in puddles and the city seemed to sigh as its parched streets were drenched. Satine watched the dark, cool world from the window of the book store, her hands moved automatically as she rung up books. People passed by in mushroom colored rain coats, a parade of beetles with black umbrella shells. Inside, it smelt soft and of mildew, a scent brought about by the rain.

A familiar brunette head was caught up in the crowd. Satine's throat seemed to tighten. Christian was drenched head to toe and looked lost. Satine wondered, clinching her knuckles beneath the table, if he would stop at the bookstore.

"Oy, Christian!" Henry called. Henry had opened the door to stand beneath the awning and yell to his friend. Christian came in dripping from ever possible place a person could drip from. He wasn't dressed for the weather at all, in only a holey sweatshirt and jeans.

"I got completely lost, I was supposed to be meeting Satie and Audrey but I think I got off at the wrong stop. The city looks different when it's wet." Christian stopped talking abruptly when he saw Satine looking at him. Henry smiled slightly, looking between them and made himself scarce. Christian walked past the line of customers to where Satine was sitting at the register.

"Do you work here?" he said with a smile.

"No, I just come here to ring up books for fun. Excuse me I have customers." Satine's voice sounded harsh even to her ears. Christian left her alone and she continued to work, her mind still on him, much to her annoyance. She scanned the price on "_The Waves_" by Virginia Woolf.

"That's my favorite book," she said absently. "Ten-thirty-five please."

"Mine too."

"Christian?" Satine wasn't sure why she was shaking. Christian was looking at her with eyes that seemed to be speaking. He looking like he was trying to prepare himself to do something.

"Wouldyouliketobemygirlfriend," said Christian in one breath.

"Sorry?"

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" said Christian, much slower this time.

"No!" said Satine without thinking. Christian's face fell.

"Oh, ok then," he said, taking his book without paying.

"Wait, Christian." Satine followed him as he headed into the downpour.

Christian had stopped in the middle of the side walk. Satine couldn't tell if he was crying because of the rain.

"I like you very much," she began. "But you can't imagine what my life is like. I'm sorry Christian. I don't want to hurt you."

Christian nodded but still looked forlorn.

"I didn't mean to lead you on. Friends?"

Christian shook his head.

"It doesn't matter how busy you life is, sometimes things come along that are bigger than us. I think I might love you and unless I'm very much mistaken you feel the same way." Christian looked alarmed at the words he was saying. A piece of wet hair had fallen into his eyes. Satine's face was drained of all color. She made a little indecisive noise in the back of her throat.

"Didn't catch that," said Christian. "Was that a yes?"

"I don't know," Satine was wringing her hands and shaking.

"Please? Let's just give it a try."

"I really don't know…"

"If you just give it a try, you'll know for sure."

"Alright. A try." Satine smiled unexpectedly and Christian moved towards her.

"Don't kiss me right now," she said quickly.

"I thought- you said-"

"It's not that," Satine laughed again. "Rain? Kissing? That's a bit cliché don't you think?"

Now it was Christian's turn to laugh and he took her hand, weaving her moist fingers between his. Hands still entwined, they headed back to the bookstore together.

A/N- I know I said this chapter would be long. I lied. Maybe the next chapter will be long. Don't hold me to anything.


	7. November

A/N- See, a long chapter. I keep my word sometimes; don't loose complete faith in me.

"Satine! Wake up!"

"Goawayimsleeping," Satine muttered to her pillow. The little girl was insistent.

"Saaaaaaaaattttttttttiiiiiiiiiinnnnneee." She pulled the pillow out from her sister's head.

"What do you want?" Satine said, not opening her eyes so as to hold on to a pleasant dream a moment longer.

"It's noon. I want food."

"Make your own food. Have cereal."

"Have you got a hang over?"

"No, I'm not mom." Satine regretted her words immediately.

"Mom's gone again," said Lucy softly. "She left last night." Satine sat up, noticing how very small Lucy looked.

"I'll get dressed and we can go out for breakfast, ok?"

"Kay!"

"Go get ready!"

Lucy ran out of the room. Satine stood up slowly, stretching and rubbing her eyes she meandered into the bathroom. She looked at her ruffled reflection in the mirror and smiled. She kept smiling as she pulled on jeans and a t-shirt from the pile on her floor.

Digging around she found her purse, a hair tie and a pair of socks. Lucy came bounding in, fully clothed in her favorite skirt and blue t-shirt.

"Can I have waffles?"

"Yes, you can have whatever you want, Honey." Satine said, surveying her un-brushed hair in the mirror.

Together the girls made their way outside, walking close together.

The café was fairly quiet, for the Moulin, which didn't mean empty. There was the usual newspaper reading crowd in the front and in the armchairs in the back college students working. A man dressed all in black was writing in a spiral bound notebook and alternately sipping espresso and fiddling with his heavy rimmed glasses. A woman with a sleeping baby was eating a salad and two little Chinese girls were beading bracelets and sharing a hot chocolate.

Lucy chose her favorite table, the one with the candle holder shaped like a cat, and Satine brought her a menu.

"Hey Satine, wanna take table twelve?" joked Betty, one of the older waitresses. Satine laughed.

"I'm on tonight, sorry." Satine sat down across from Lucy, who was reading the menu with knitted brows. "So, waffles?"

"Am I allowed to change my mind?"

"What do you want?" Satine was very aware now of the fact that she'd told Lucy she could eat whatever she wanted.

"Blueberry pancakes, French fries and root beer." Satine winced.

"I did say you could get anything…"

"Yep." Lucy looked pleased with herself.

"Right, I'll be back."

"I want the cow mug and a swirly straw," Lucy called after her. Satine put on an apron and went behind the counter.

"Blueberry pancakes and French fries Nate," Satine called to the chef.

"Is Lucy here with you?"

"With an order like that? She better be…" Satine got Lucy's soda and a coffee for herself. She brought the drinks out to the table and then returned to get her own breakfast, a muffin with jam. Balancing that with Lucy's order on a tray was no easy task but Satine had been a waitress since she was fourteen, so she managed.

"sadeencuneegutadapawkapterdis?" Lucy demanded her mouth full.

"Swallow!" Satine commanded. Lucy nodded and nearly choked.

"Can we go to the park after this?"

"Yea, but we have to go home for dinner. I'm working tonight, if we see Christian in the park maybe he can take you. Or can you go to Nancy's house?" Nancy was the elderly woman who lived in the apartment bellow them. She had three grown children who never visited and so she was always more than happy to watch Lucy.

Satine usually didn't want to bother the kind old woman and just brought Lucy to work with her but tonight was karaoke night and the theme was cabaret. Satine had a feeling that it wouldn't be a good night to bring a ten year old. It hadn't helped that feeling that the waitress uniforms were black lingerie, fish nets and boas.

"Christian! He's more fun that silly old Nancy."

Satine had half a mind to tell her to be nice, but she had to admit she had a point. After all, Christian, not Nancy, was her boyfriend of two months.

Lucy finished before Satine. An impossible feat considering the amount of food. Satine cleared their dishes and led Lucy outside, making her put her coat back on.

"But it's hot oooooout. You're always cold." Lucy complained. "We don't even have a fan."

"We have a heater though; loads of people don't have that."

"I don't like heat."

"Well you're lucky you live in New York."

"I don't like New York."

"You don't like anything today."

"I like the park but you're walking slow, hurry up!"

"I bet I can beat you there!" Satine said as she was off.

"That's not fair, you go a head start!" Lucy called, running after her. "And your legs are longer!"

Christian sat on the library steps, right across the street from Washington Square Park. Christian took a seat next to the open window and allowed his eyes to wander among the foliage, searching for inspiration.

The park was full of autumn sunlight and recently fallen leaves. The past month had been an explosion of color which was only just starting to fade. It was unusually warm for mid-November and students had flocked there, talking loudly, spreading blankets, eager to enjoy the last of the good weather.

He saw a blonde girl asleep on the chest of a dark boy, his arms around her. Three girls were laughing on a bench near them. Several boys were kicking a soccer ball.

Nini was reading beneath a great oak tree, every now and then she'd stop to push her glasses up on her nose or run a strand of hair over her lips. She had very short hair, except the pieces in the front. She'd told Christian she cut her own hair. He could tell.

The quiet of the afternoon was broken by high girlish shrieks. Satine and Lucy were racing through the park, Satine in the lead but Lucy close behind.

"Saaaatine!" Lucy was squealing "Slooow down!" Satine halted, bending to catch her breath. Lucy jumped on her, pushing her into a pile of leaves. The two were obviously unaware that anyone else was in the park. Satine laughed and threw a handful of leaves at her little sister. Catching sight of Christian, Satine called to him as she attempted to get back up.

"Christian, come help!" she shouted as Lucy pushed her back. Christian came over, reluctantly.

"That's not fair!" Lucy said scooping up leaves.

"Hey!" protested Christian as they hit him square in the face. "Come back here!" He and Satine pelted Lucy with leaves. Satine then turned and attacked Christian. "I thought you were on my side!" he knocked her over; she laughed and tried to hide under the leaves. "I can still see you," Christian teased, taking a seat beside her and trying to simultaneously pelt her with leaves and kiss her neck. Satine smiled and kissed him back, momentarily forgetting that her little sister was standing nearby trying very hard to look blasé.

"You guys, I'm going to the swings" Lucy called, looking a bit scandalized despite her efforts.

Satine and Christian lay in the leaves a good while, acting as young lovers often do. They finally emerged to lean entwined against a tree, Satine's messy red mop filled with twigs. Christian ran his fingers affectionately across the knotted curls, treasuring each dear moment when he could be close to Satine. It was hard to believe only two months ago she had flat out rejected him. Since the day she had agreed to "give him a try" it had been nothing but bliss beyond what either of them had previously believed possible. They both led lives that left little time for other commitments, but that just made the time they had more precious.

"I've been meaning to ask you something," said Christian, with a nervous air Satine found very endearing. "My sister Jane is coming to New York next weekend. Some of her paintings are being shown at a gallery. I'd love for you to come meet her."

Satine relaxed. "I'd love you go, I've heard so much about Jane already."

"It's not Jane who would be the problem; my parent's will be there too."

Satine's face change slightly, but she nodded. "If you want me there, I'll still come."

"It would mean a lot to me and to Jane if you would."

"Then I'll go and that's that," said Satine, unable to look completely sunny about this idea.

Trying to push the now looming prospect of meeting Christian's ultraconservative parents, the couple went to collect Lucy from the swings, where she had made several new friends and was engaged in an intense jumping contest with them.

Christian walked home with Satine and Lucy. As the walked, Satine felt herself overcome with strange emotions. She felt an overwhelming sense of belonging to something. A group. A family. Her throat got tight and her eyes burned so much she thought she was getting ill. Suddenly for the first time in many years, tears were rolling down her cheeks. It took her a moment to realize why her face was wet; it was such an alien experience. She tried to hide it from Christian but he saw and held her closer.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing," she gasped between tears. "Everything is so absolutely perfect in every way; I wish time would stop."


End file.
